In the words of Nora Ephron: “I feel bad about my neck.”
I’m not sure what’s happening here. Not that it’s keeping me up at night in panic. There are a great many other things to worry about in life…
Will a gigantic meteorite hit Earth?
Can a cleaning fairy surprise me and vacuum out my crumb-laden, kid-slimed car?
Baby squirrels outside my bedroom window – Will you guys EVER stop making that annoying chirp sound?
But if I’m complaining just a little, my neck is becoming sort of…stretchy? If that’s the word. I’m not in the double chin zone at the moment. My weight is healthy (I mean, it is to me!) Everything should still be defying gravity. I’m 36. Am I not still safely in the taught-neck-skin age range? I’m not comfortable in turtle neck sweaters.
Should I get comfortable in them?
I noticed this during the summer and figured the change I saw was due to a rash from a new sunscreen I tried, which left the texture of my skin a little rough. Alas, summer is over and I haven’t been slathering myself with sunscreen, so that’s not the culprit.
At a recent visit to my dermatologist I said, “While I’m here, what’s the deal with my neck?” I flicked the area of skin with my finger to demonstrate that it moves.
“You’re getting older,” he replied.
“What?! Well, what can I do about it?”
“Pray that you get cataracts sooner than later,” he said, “and you won’t be able to see it.”
Message received. In an effort to take this into my own hands, I browsed the web for some – this is going to sound dumb – neck exercises. There were ridiculous ones that suggested I make a “cow face” by bringing my bottom lip over my top lip and looking up to the ceiling.
I don’t know about you but I’m not making time in my schedule to make cow faces. Anything that awkward I knew wouldn’t last in my workout repertoire so it had to be reasonable and not embarrassing should someone actually see me doing it.
By the way, I googled Nora Ephron to check out her neck. It looked fine to me.
This weekend we’re going pumpkin picking and bringing along my sister and her new husband. Undoubtedly, they’ll both be exhausted after our excursion. We’re getting an early start and my kids will probably spend the day hanging on their aunt and new uncle and whine to be carried around the pumpkin farm. Should be fun to observe. And laugh at.
I hope your weekend is lovely.